YOU shut up, Bill Simmons!

First of all, the Ravens have to play the Pats on Monday...and Tom Brady is good. If Phillip Rivers can beat the Ravens easily, I can't imagine what Tom Brady will do. People keep saying "the Defense could keep the Ravens in this game." Yeah right. Our defense this year isn't good like we're use to. One portion of our secondary sucks...*caugh* Samari Rolle *caugh*...which sucks, because C-Mac and Ed Reed are awesome. And its not like we can say "oh, our D will stop the run. You bet we can! Too bad New England doesn't run the ball! The Pats say "Yeah, we're passing, we'll tell you, but we can still kick your ass!.
But I’m tired of hearing about the Patriots. Which brings me to my next point...I’m also tired of hearing Bill Simmons crying all of the time. “WAH WAH WAH! Pity me! Pity me! I’m a Pats fan! And a Sox fan! And a Celtics fan!”
I was going to write about how funny it would be if the Pats went undefeated and then lost in their first playoff game. But, because of new found hatred for Bill Simmons, I shall write an open letter to him.

Dear Bill,

How did you get your job at ESPN? I would be so awesome if I could write and rant about the Ravens, Orioles, Wizards, Caps and University of Maryland sports, and get paid to do so writing for a national audience who could care less. How did you convince ESPN to let you write for them? I mean, you don’t even have to think out of the box, do you? You just write like a regular beat writer in a major city except you get paid as if you were a good national writer. That is amazing!

One complaint though, Bill. SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT NEW ENGLAND SPORTS! NO ONE CARES! YOU CAN’T COMPLAIN FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS ABOUT ANYTHING IN NEW ENGLAND! The Pats are 11-0, the Celtics are doing awesome, the Red Sox are World Champs and Boston College is even playing in the ACC title game tomorrow! DOESN’T GET MUCH BETTER THAN THAT!! So for the sanity of everyone who isn’t experiencing the same fortunes as you, SHUT THE HELL UP! It could be worse!

Love,

Everyone outside of New England.

p.s. - you're also ruining the name of people named Bill, such as that of Mr. Bill Nye.

R.I.P. Sean Taylor

Although readers of this blog know of my hatred for the Redskins, that doesn't mean I want bad things to happen to players on their team. I was sad to hear this morning that Redskins Safety Sean Taylor has passed away as a result of the gunshot wound he received yesterday. He was only 24 years old. May he rest in peace and my thoughts and prayers go out to his family, teammates, friends and fans.

The Ravens aren't the “Old Browns.”

To quote my friend Turtle, “If I hear someone talk about the “old Browns vs. the new Browns” on Sunday, I’ll destroy them.”

A few points for folks – The Ravens aren’t the “old Browns.” When Modell moved the team from Cleveland to Baltimore following the 1995 season, he didn’t take the team name, colors, and history. He simply took the players. Cleveland got to keep all of that. Those players started playing in Baltimore in 1996 under a new name, team, and identity.

That is a lot different from when the Colts left Baltimore in the middle of the night. They took the team name, colors, and history when that bastard Irsay moved the Colts to Indy. The only thing he didn’t take were the Colt band Uniforms, which were at the cleaners that night (which allowed the band to stay in Baltimore and continue playing, even though Baltimore no longer had an NFL team, until the Colts band was adopted by the Ravens to become Baltimore’s Marching Ravens).

I don’t think people call the Indy Colts “the Old Baltimore Colts” and I don’t think people said it was “The Old Colts vs. the New Colts” when Baltimore played Indy last year, even though it was two franchises with two different names and histories playing each other, much like in the Ravens vs. Browns game Sunday.
Just shows you how stupid announcers on TV are…

Dishing out the hatred to the Redskins and their idiotic fans

Dishing out the hatred to the Redskins and their idiotic fans

Hail to the morons, hail to misery...

First things first, you have to love a team who has a racist nickname, built a new stadium a few years back that isn’t even located in the city it represents, while also being a piece of shit that is now falling apart, and who has a fan base that thinks they’re living in 1991.

Dear Redskins fans,

Joe Gibbs isn’t the answer. Your team is bad. Probably as bad as the Ravens.

Love,

The rest of the world.

p.s. – Jason Campbell wishes he was half the quarterback that Kyle Boller is. Watch out for Boller this week to go 23/30, 3 TDs, 1 int. against the Browns.

Steelers, but mostly back to hating on the Red Sox

I hate that the Steelers game against the Ravens was basically their homecoming game, as they brought back all of the past Steelers to celebrate their 75th anniversary. What I hate even more is that the Ravens played like a team you schedule for homecoming. That was the worst performance by a football team I've ever seen. Oh, and Ray Lewis - stop dancing around and yelling in the 4th quarter when your Defense has given up 38 points! You look like an idiot and make the team look like one too.

Now onto my true love, hating the Red Sox...

This is why Red Sox fans are idiots

From a story on ESPN.com (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3099904)
“As their team was celebrating its second World Series championship in four years, Boston Red Sox fans in attendance in Denver had unsolicited advice for the club's executives.
They chanted "re-sign Lowell" and "don't sign A-Rod."
How stupid are you guys? I mean, I already hated most of you, but who in their right mind WOULDN’T want A-Rod? He’s only the best player in baseball and its not even close. Mike Lowell? Seriously? Mike Lowell shouldn’t even have the right to eat A-Rod’s crap, let alone be resigned rather than A-Rod. Now, I understand if you don’t want to sign A-Rod because you’d have to pay him $300 million dollars to do so, but that’s not why Red Sox Idiots (I’m referring to them as idiots, rather than fans for now on) don’t want their team to sign him. They don’t want them to sign him because he was a Yankee and god forbid they sign a player from the former evil empire (The Red Sox are not only the latest fashion-trend team to cheer for, they’re also the new and improved evil empire, taking over that crown from the Yankees).
But we all know how smart the Red Sox are when it comes to dealing with the best hitters in baseball history. Hopefully not signing A-Rod will start a new curse for Boston - the curse of the galactically stupid.

Gary Parrish, now it's your turn

Aside from thinking the ACC will be the 3rd best conference in the country this year, which is so stupid, as they'll be #1, Gary thought Duke was the second best team in the ACC this year in Men's basketball. Newsflash Gary - If Duke is #2, then the ACC is on par with the MAAC in terms of how good it is this year.

My email rant below.

Gary Gary Gary,

Why do you and so many other writers think that Duke is going to be good this year? This is a team that finished 8-8 in ACC play and for once was actually considered a bubble team! You take away McRoberts from that team and replace him with unproven freshman. What are you left with? A bad PG in Paulus and a horrible player in Shire. Nelson is the only good player on Duke's roster who played big minutes last year.
My biggest problem with your predictions is that you make the argument that Duke is returning 3 guys that started several games last year and that young talent will take them the rest of the way. Yet, Maryland is returning Vasquez, Gist and Hayes, all of which started or played most of the game last year and has several young kids coming in as well. Yet you argue that Maryland will be 7th in the conference because of this "unproven" young talent and you say Duke will rely on young, unproven talent, yet you rank then 2nd. You can't say MD could be good or bad based on their freshman and then turn around and say Duke will be good, even though they'll rely even MORE on their freshman!
Maryland also has Osby coming off the bench or starting(who scores more points per minutes played then the departed Obekwe) and Milbourne who is very athletic but was stuck playing behind Gist, Obekwe and Osby last year as a freshman.

Please Gary, tell me why Duke will be better than Maryland?
Remember, Duke lost TWICE to Maryland last year. I'd have no problem if you ranked Duke 6th and MD 7th, fine. But how do you justify a 5 place discrepancy between the two?
Yes, losing Jones and Strawberry will be a big loss, but I guarantee, having Vasquez and Hayes on the floor at the same time will allow Vasquez to be the shooting guard and by the end of the season, he'll be one of the leagues leading scores, right there with Gist.

How much does Duke pay you Gary? Are you the offspring of Dookie Vital?

Sincerely,
-Dave